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Public transit zoom.
Past the world, I go.
Limitless in time.
Memories of life pass by,
Elegance at any age.
Public transit zoom.
Down the long stairs, I look.
She beams auburn rays.
Home resides in her,
She lives on within me.
Public transit zoom.
Through space and time, I feel.
That sassy wit and knowing smirk.
An eyebrow raised to the heavens,
That impact everlasting.
Public transit zoom.

For my Gramcracker, from your little crumb. I love you and miss your physical form. Thank you for a life filled with love. I will always cherish the memories of our bus rides together when I was a little boy.

 

 

A Loving Purpose

I have thought for a long time about the meaning of life. The age old question… why are we here?… has echoed in my mind for most of my life. I know I am not alone in this search for answers. It is a part of the human condition to question why it is we exist and what our purpose for living really is. And we are lucky that we live in a time and environment that allows us to ask such questions and even attempt to answer them. We are even luckier that most of the social circles, connections, and interactions we have are on an evolved and consciously elevated level compared to previous generations throughout time. Of course, there are still many people and parts of the world that are in the dark and have not evolved to the higher level of consciousness… and that is sad, but we should still love them all the same.

Which brings me to a recent revelation I had, a lifelong lesson I have studied and witnessed through my mother’s constant example. A realization that was so moving and life-changing, while at the same time so simple. Truly simple at its core. Love. That is it. Love. The reason we are here and experiencing life is Love. All aspects of Love. From the Love a person can experience for a beautiful sunset to the Love of the person of your dreams… and even more profound, the Love one should have for themselves. I’m talking about all kinds of Love, every level of it there is and every form it can take. I’m talking about the Universal Heart Connection we all share. The Universal Love Frequency we all have access to. This Devine Source of energy that ties us all together, that gives life purpose, is Love.

My childhood, my family life, my parents love story, my mothers unconditional love for every human she has ever met, my personal struggles, my fathers acceptance of my sexuality, the men I have loved then lost, the men that have loved then lost me, my dear best friends, and my experiences these past few weeks…. everything has all led to this deeper understanding of the Universal Question. Why am I here? What is the meaning of life?

I know I am not the first to discover this and I won’t be the last. Thank God! But Love is the meaning of life!

Giving Love unconditionally. Not expecting anything in return for your Love, and not taking it away out of spite, anger, pain, or fear.

Allowing others to give and show you Love. From a stranger that smiles at you, to the person that chooses to spend the rest of their life with you, we must allow ourselves to receive all forms of Love. We deserve to be Loved. Often I find it is easier to give Love, receiving Love can be much harder, but please let yourself be Loved.

Most of all, the most important form of Love, we must have is Self Love. Self Love is the seed that blooms and blossoms into all other forms of Love. I don’t mean ego or vanity. What I am talking about is an ideal that most never achieve. I still struggle with it. It’s about having an appreciation for your true self, accepting who you are in all forms good or bad, and striving to be the best version of yourself at each moment. Forgiveness and growth are key to having Self Love. Knowing that you are good enough, but not better than anyone else is also important in the circle of Love.

My goal is to give Love to everyone I meet, to receive Love from anyone who sends it out, and to live in an open Evolved Universal Love Connection with all people.

Shitty Lemons

We have all been given lemons by life at one point or another… and we know that when that happens, we must make some bomb ass lemonade.

But it’s always easier said than done. I have had many horrible things happen in my life. The worst would be my father, David Burrus, passing unexpectedly in 2009. The pain and sadness from that event alone lasted years, I still have fragments of the loss embedded in my heart. But the bulk of the pain has processed out of me.

And during the period of depression I felt around my father’s death, I thought I would never get out of the darkness. It had engulfed me and manipulated me to make choices that kept me in the dark and filled with pain. How the hell was I supposed to make lemonade out of the rotten lemon that the universe had placed before me?!

But I held onto a sliver of hope and a belief that everything happens for a reason. And good things, fun things, love filled things did occur throughout this time of my life. Other “bad” things happened too. Life is not black or white. The good and the bad happen together consistently. But an overactive pain body and depression can numb you out from the good and make the bad bigger.

However, it is possible to get through the storm. And I genuinely mean through. Not around. Not away from. Not never. Not tomorrow. But through it, facing it, feeling it, learning from it, and allowing for the natural internal process we all have to deal with our pain to heal us. Scream, love, cry, laugh… honor your pain, thank it for what it teaches you, and then say goodbye to your pain. And remember… do not hurt others with your pain, that only hurts you more.

It’s not easy. I ask you to be patient with yourself and your loved ones. But it is possible to grow, to rise up, to live again, to be reborn anew and without your pain. Yes life gives us lemons, and sometimes they are really sour, but with enough time, willingness, action, forgiveness, and love you can make lemonade out of anything. Even a big pile of stinking shit.

Devine Alchemy

As I sit and contemplate my gratitude this morning, my world and all that has been happening in it spin through my head, and I’m reminded of a saying I have heard many times. “God’s will, not mine.”

I really tried to live by that for many years, but I could never really achieve it. I just didn’t get it. At the time I was trying to be what I thought I was supposed to be, I was trying to live up to a standard set by a community I was apart of and kept failing horribly. I wasn’t happy at all, but I was living in God’s will. Right?!

First, let me say that I have total respect for this community I reference and a lot of love for the men in it. And God’s will has united them for a common purpose that is beautiful. But something just didn’t feel right to me. I could never find my happiness or comfort.

Second… let’s change the phrase a little bit. I love God, and I believe in God, my own personal interpretation of God I mean. We each have one. But I feel that the words “Devine Alchemy of the Universe” represent the idea of “God’s will” more accurately. I am happy to explain why, break down each word, and elaborate on the whole thing if needed, but I trust that most of you get what I mean.

The natural flow of life that is influenced by choice and guided by higher waves of intuitive energy. It’s those moments that just happen easily and feel so right. It’s that instinctual draw you have towards something or someone. It’s that feeling of vibrational cosmic energy coursing through your body giving you God tingles. When the universe is creating your next possibility out of your current situation with your highest good in mind, you know it, and you automatically lean into it. That is living in the “Devine Alchemy of the Universe.”

However, the only constant in life is change and the things that the Universe creates for you will not always be there. And letting go, allowing for the transition to happen… isn’t always easy. It’s in these moments that I take my will back and fight the natural progression of life the Universe has created for me. I fight, I bargain, I deny, I manipulate, and I live in fear when I take my will back. I do it because I want to be happy and the thing that is being taken away made me happy.

But the more I fight and push my will, the less happy I become, and the longer it takes me to get back on my Devine path. Living in the “Devine Alchemy of the Universe” or “God’s will” means letting go and being open to the natural next step. We all have a Devine purpose for being here, trust the process, allow the Universe to guide you, and always live with love.

Today I am grateful that I trust the Universe and can let go of my will. I don’t always understand why things happen the way they do, but when I let go and accept life on life’s terms… I am at peace.